SINCE GRANDMA PASSED AWAY, I HAVE BEEN HAVING ALOT OF DIFFERENT THOUGHTS ALONG WITH PRECIOUS MEMORIES. I DON'T KNOW IF ANYONE TRULY KNOWS WHAT MY GRANDMA MEANT TO ME, AND WHAT A SPECIAL BOND THAT WE HAD, AND NOW I AM HAVINGS THESE THOUGHTS THAT I CAN'T SEEM TO SHAKE, SO I THOUGHT THAT MAYBE IF I WROTE THEM DOWN THAT IT MAY HELP ME CLEAR MY HEAD. I HOPE I DON'T OFFEND ANYONE....AND IF I DO, THAN MAYBE YOU NEED THE OFFENDING.
WHEN YOU LOVE SOMEBODY, YOU SHOULD NOT COMPLAIN ABOUT HOW SLOW THEY ARE, OR HOW FORGETFUL, OR IF THEY CAN'T MAKE UP THEIR MIND ABOUT SOMETHING, OR IF THEY HAVE TO ASK YOU THE SAME QUESTION A BIZILLION TIMES, KEEP ANSWERING IT WITHOUT THEM KNOWING THEY HAVE ALREADY ASKED IT. HAVE PATIENCE, AND DON'T STRESS OUT OVER THIS PERSON, FOR YOU DON'T KNOW HOW LONG THAT YOU ACTUALLY HAVE LEFT WITH THAT PERSON.
ALSO, IF YOU CHOOSE TO DO SOMETHING TO HARM YOUR OWN HEALTH, THAN DO IT AWAY FROM OTHER PEOPLE THAT IT MAY HARM, ESPECIALLY PEOPLE WHO YOU KNOW WON'T COMPLAIN OR SAY ANYTHING ABOUT IT TO YOUR FACE, AND STOP BEING SO SELFISH AND LOOK AT WHAT YOU DO TO OTHERS.
GRANDMA CONFIDED IN ME A LOT OF THINGS, THAT I NOW WISH THAT I WOULD HAVE COME FORWARD AND LET PEOPLE KNOW HOW SHE REALLY FELT ABOUT THINGS. THINGS THAT PEOPLE DID OR SAID, THAT THEY DIDN'T THINK SHE UNDERSTOOD OR THAT SHE DIDN'T CARE, SHE DID, AND SHE TOLD ME SO. THERE WERE TIMES THAT GRANDMA WAS IN TEARS, (YES, STRONG STUBBORN GRANDMA) TELLING ME THINGS, BUT BECAUSE SHE CONFIDED IN ME NOT TO TELL ANYONE, THAN THAT IS WHAT I DID AND NOW I HAVE TO LIVE WITH THIS FEELING OF GUILT THAT I DIDN'T STAND UP FOR MY GRANDMOTHER. SO FOR WHAT IT IS WORTH NOW, I AM STANDING UP FOR GRANDMA, AND LETTING THOSE PEOPLE KNOW TO THINK TWICE ABOUT WHAT THEY SAY OR DO TO THEIR LOVED ONES, BECAUSE YOU DON'T KNOW HOW MUCH TIME THAT YOU ACTUALLY HAVE LEFT WITH THAT PERSON, AND WHEN THAT TIME COMES, THAN IT IS TOO LATE TO TAKE ANYTHING BACK.
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That's my girl and I am so proud of her.
She and Mom had a special bond. I thank God everyday that Mom was there for Janis, when I wasn't. When Janis was first born I was only 17 years old, just a baby myself, without the help from Mom I don't know what I would have done. Mom & Dad actually wanted to adopt Janis as their daughter.
After Hal and I married I struggled as a wife and mother to keep both husband and kids (Hal's 2 and Janis) happy.
Mom & Dad practically raised Janis.
Also Janis, I apologize to you for all the years that I exposed you to cigarette smoke. I was selfish and didn't listen to you when you told me how much you disliked it. Please forgive me. I love you as my mother loved me.
Thank you God, for a loving and caring daughter.
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